A
Mostpeoplesay“yes”muchmorereadilythan“no”.
Afriendismovinghousethisweekendandwouldlikesomehelp,andyouagree.But,whatyoureallywantis acoupleofquietdaysrelaxingathome.Oraroommatespendstheentireweekendsplaying videogamesandwants toborrowyourhomeworkfor“reference”.But,you’vejustfinishedit aftertakingawholedaytoworkhard.
Manypeoplesay“yes”tothesekindsofrequests.Theytendnottoconsidertheirowninterestsandfeelings, andareoftenangrywiththemselvesafterwards.
Saying“no”requirescourageandconsiderablepractice,infact,accordingtopsychologists.
“Everyonewantstobeliked,”saysGabriele Steinki,aGermanpsychologist.“Saying‘no’riskslosingtheaffection ofthepersonaskingthefavororevena job.”
Theresultisthatmanypeoplesay“yes”justforkeepingthepeace.Butexpertssaythisisregrettable.Anyone shouldhavetherighttosay“no”.
Infact,rejectingarequestcanevenhelptostrengthena relationshipbecauseit expressesa truefeeling.
But,forpeoplewhoareusedtoagreeingtoeveryrequest,changingcanbealonganduncomfortable learning process.
Mostpeoplebelievethat“IfIsay‘no’,I’lllosetheaffectionoftheperson.Buttheaffectionisimportantto me.”Thiswayofthinkingcanbereplacedbythis:“IfheonlylikesmebecauseIalwaysdowhatsuitshim,then thepriceofhisaffectionis toohigh inthelongterm.”
Steinkisaysthekeyistalkingtotheother person tofindamutual(相互的)solution.“Oneneedstopresentthe situationfromone’sownpointofview,andtosuggest howthesituationcanbedealtwithtotheadvantage ofboth parties.Theotherpersonmusthavethefeelingthathisinterestsarebeingconsidered.”
Whentherefusal isnotaccepted,Steinkiadvisesgivingthereasons calmlyagainuntilthepersongetsthe message.
21．Mostpeoplesay“yes”muchmorereadilythan“no”because .
A.theydon’tcareabouttheirowninterestsandfeelings at all
B. they don’t know they will regret afterwards
C. they have already been used to saying “yes”
D. they care more about others’ affection
22．Intheopinionofpsychologists, .
A.peopleneeda lotofpracticetosay“no”
B.peopleshouldsay“yes”to keepthepeace
C.saying“no”meanslosinga job
D.peoplehavetherighttobeliked
23．Accordingto Steinki,whatshouldyoudoif youwanttorefusetheotherperson’srequest?
A. Just say you can’t help him.
B. Say sorry to him.
C. Refuse him clearly.
D. Talk to the other person to find a mutual way.
